For me, there are several areas I'd like to focus on. The ones most people in a similar situation can relate to are establishing healthy eating habits & daily workout routines... Another area that is imperative that I get under control is increasing my self worth.
Many women and men battle with their sense of self esteem and confidence when they gain weight and fail to lose weight... for one reason or another. I envy those who can love themselves no matter what their outside appearance reflects. The irony here is I love the #nothighgap movement and positive body reinforcement going on in society these days. I love it, and I support it. But when it comes to me, I have these self-deprecating shades on, and I can't always see the beauty.
I have a lot to work on, and I'm up for the challenge. I'm taking the steps to set myself up for a successful journey. I'm tackling my feelings head on - my feelings on food, fitness, body image, health, and living a long and happy life. I have a family history of diabetes and cancer. I know my chances increase every year I decide to remain complacent in my current situation. I also acknowledge that I have to be the change, and I have to buy into this change.
I love food. My love for food knows no bounds. Asian, Mexican, Italian, Cajun... Indian, American, real, fake - you name it, I pretty much love it. (The only exception here is cilantro. I'm one of those crazies that tastes soap...) Fried, grilled, baked, flambéed... it all tastes great. I have struggled with my food addiction, obviously. I have gone on a food run to McDonalds and have bought an extra sandwich or two... and I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'll eat them before I get home so my boi has no idea of just how much I want to eat. I'll snack on Poptarts while I'm cooking dinner... the list goes on and on. When I realized that I suffer from binge eating disorder, it was easier to start putting things in perspective. I have read up on the disorder a lot, and I'm feeling prepared to to tackle this on with the love and support I have around me. I have to take this one meal at a time, work on meal planning, and portion control. (At this time, I'm not planning on cutting anything out of my diet, but I simply want to watch what I put in my mouth and track it on MyFitnessPal.)
Exercise and I... we have a love hate relationship. I haven't put my finger on what my exact issues are with exercise. I actually enjoy the burning, sweating, and lovely euphoria that comes after a great work out. Two years ago, I was close to running 5 miles... and then I started to feel pain in my right leg. I also wanted to spend what limited time I had after work with the boi... or my aunts... or talking on the phone with my parents and best-friend. Working out was the first thing to go. I am working on getting back on track in this area as well.
I have set out to succeed. I'm lining all of my ducks in a row. I have joined a new gym in my new area, I have bought new running shoes and training shoes, a couple of cute new shirts, a new Fitbit Charge (I graduated from my Flex!) and a Polar Heart Rate Monitor.
I have started a health journey IG and obviously this blog to track my successes and failures. I am going into this with my eyes wide open - I know I will have setbacks, and I am working on increasing my confidence... so that when I fall down, I can pick myself back up, dust off my ass, and take off running again.
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